I have been thinking a lot about what matters in my life since my first post like this two weeks ago, if nothing else these posts have helped me in that capacity. Hopefully they have helped you too?! Hopefully you started a private personal blog and are uploading pictures you take of your family and writing down your memories and thoughts. It's okay if you haven't yet, hopefully you will soon :) It took me a long while to commit to keeping a family journal. If it didn't include pictures I wouldn't do it, pictures are worth a thousand words each so I really don't do a ton of writing. I upload pictures and then come back later and write in each post. I will say the one thing I want to improve is throwing in posts without pictures. Posts that are just my thoughts on life and learning like these posts here. We may not realize all we are learning and going through until we put our fingers to the keyboard and let it out. To go back and read from a post from a month ( or year etc.) ago may just be the advice you were looking for. What seems profound one week may be a lost to you a month later, not that it has lost profundity (spell check didn't say this word is wrong so I am going with it) we just can't keep it all in the fore front of our minds, there is only so much space there.
|The emotion of the mother sums up the joy of motherhood.|
Don't even think for a minute however that I think taking care of the family is solely my job, he has his role and he does a good job. He works hard to provide for our family, he listens to me, he's good tempered, he supports me in my endeavors and is never domineering. I didn't plan on writing a book on this matter, heck I didn't know what was going to come out as I sat down to write I just wanted to be open and honest like I would be if I were writing in my private journal.
I have two kids I know many families with more and I feel like I can barely keep up with two kids needs. A year or so before I started The SIP project I felt like I really needed to focus on serving my family and naturally the circle of serving would grow outwards from there. Makes perfect sense right?! Me being the big idea person that I am I didn't fully do this, I wanted to do something bigger. It made perfect sense, but I didn't fully embrace it. Now I am in the throws of The SIP project and Service Beans and many other good things ,but if I had fully embraced those promptings I would have an easier time always putting my family first. I know I have some room to grow here, I want my husband to feel loved, cherished and supported. I want my kids to be ready for life when they leave our home. I don't want them to go out into the world at 18 and spend 10 years "finding themselves" I want them to leave knowing exactly who they are and feeling such confidence that they step right into making a positive impact in the world. For our family I know this will require me staying home with my kids, manning the back door so to speak with my husband at the front door. We won't keep our kids and marriage safe if were both consumed only with ourselves. I have thought about finding a job, after weighing it all out in my mind I think I will just work on getting paying photography gigs. Not everyone is willing to do service for pictures I may as well let them pay me if they won't do a service project. All of this has started rolling around in my heart because my son will be in school in a year and I never thought I would find myself in this position so early. My daughter will be 7 next month, I don't know where time has gone! If life keeps speeding up from here then it would stand to reason the next 7 years will go by even faster. We really don't have much time to raise our kids. This life is all about choosing our priorities, we can't do it all, we weren't meant to, so choose wisely and prayerfully.
one more note...
Recently it's been a great joy to take these two beautiful women's maternity photos at such a pivotal time in their lives. I have known one for about 9 years and the other about 5 years. I had my daughter when I was 23 and I am sure people looked at me with this tiny baby and thought "she's so young!" Now I am 30 and see mothers in their early 20's and think "she's so young." I know I'm not much older then them but it's amazing how much you can learn in 7 years, and how much my eyes have been opened to how much more I need to grow. I dedicate this letter to all moms and moms to be :) There is no greater job on earth then being a mom. It can be hard to let go of what we want to do in this life and focus on our kids, but here again when we lose ourselves find ourselves, I am still working on the losing part ha ha!
Now go write your letter...